Scout Needs To Get a Job
by nooneokay
Summary: He throws a temper tantrum.


Scout was a twenty-three year old autistic male with severe social anxiety who was totally capable of having a job, but he didn't have one due to his severe laziness and the fact that the only jobs available at the time he considered to be too degrading (janitor, security guard, burger flipper, etc.). He really had no right to think in such a manner as the people who took those jobs were actually doing something productive for society, unlike him. He was quite a conceited little SOB. It was probably because he spent almost all of his leisure time – actually, since he's unemployed it would just be called time, although he likes to think that he's busy by doing household chores his mommy tells him to do – on tumblr posting extremely unoriginal content he thinks is funny that the average working male his age would find atrociously stupid.

Every year, Scout's mother would take Scout and herself to the welfare office, located in the seedier parts of Boston. She was receiving 2000 dollars a month by claiming her son was totally unfit to be part of the working population. That, of course, is fraud since Scout, like mentioned earlier, is completely capable of working; he just chooses not to work because he really is a spoiled brat who needs to grow the hell up.

The worst thing, in Scout's mother's mind, happened: the welfare office caught fire. She would not be able to claim her benefit frauds for quite some time. This sent her lazy ass into a panic. She went to the liquor store and used the little remaining money she had left to buy some booze. By the time she and Scout were home, she was completely wasted.

"You fucking useless piece of shit," she said. "Why couldn't you have had some more severe disability, that way I wouldn't have to go to the welfare office?"

"Mommy, you're hurting my feelings," Scout said. He started crying like the feminine twat he is.

"Yeah, well you've hurt mine many more times," she said. "You're going to have to get a job, whether you like it or not."

"No, mommy, please! Anything but that! Anything!"

"No, I've been babying you for far too long. You really need to become an adult. What I've been doing . . . what we've been doing is no good." The booze would sometimes, like this particular occasion, knock some sense into her mind.

"I can't get a job. I'm afraid of people." Being on the internet frequently made him so conceited to the point that he thought everyone in real life watched every little thing he did in public. Almost every adult would usually disregard such a thing, but you really can't expect a person without a job to know such a thing I suppose.

"You think there aren't other people working right now who are afraid of people? You aren't special, Scout."

"I hate you, mommy!" Scout ran to his room and slammed the door shut. He went on his tumblr and started saying he was going to kill himself because his mommy told him to get a job. His followers, not being afraid to leave spurious maudlin comments, gave him the attention he needed – actually, this is the type of attention that most likely turned him into such a pathetic childish adult, but never mind that.

Scout's mother knew her son was complaining about her on the web right now. She did what any sensible drunk mother would do; she disconnected the internet.

"Fucking bitch!" Scout screamed. Bumps could be heard from his room, from him throwing who knows what. He ran out of his room into the kitchen to grab a dull butter knife. He tried cutting himself, but he knew he would only be left with scratches. He was too much of a pansy to use the steak knife. Scout's mother had seen this act of desperation many times before, so she just ignored him.

Scout's mother had a few more drinks until she passed out. Scout reconnected the internet connection and told his tumblr followers, who were unappreciative pieces of shit just like him, that his mother is such a fucking bitch. They all started sharing similar stories about how much of a bitch their mothers were.

The next day, Scout's mother received a phone call from another welfare office. She jumped for joy that she could finally get some more money. She told Scout the news, and he was happy that he no longer had to get a job.

The two then continued to be unproductive members of society, being such burdens on the taxpayers. Did they care? Of course not. They were dependent spoiled brats who didn't and will never learn how the real world works. And the funny thing is they still had the audacity to think that they were somehow better than other people.


End file.
